Sunday, July 5, 2009

Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft


Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?
Letter from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft


Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.


1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button..
We request you to check this.

2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,
Banta

Last one to Mr. Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS



Upgraded To Husband1.0 From Boyfriend5.0


Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate



Reply:

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend:
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.



Before & After Marriage


He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why r you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I'm not that kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?


Now After The Marriage You Can Read It From Bottom
To The Top



Home 23 facts about Guys every Girls should know


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

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2. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

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3. Crying is blackmail.

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4. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

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5. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

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6. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

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7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

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8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

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9. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

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10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

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11. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

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12. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

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13. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

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14. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

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15. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

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16. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

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17. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

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18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .

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19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

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20. You have enough clothes.

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21. You have too many shoes.

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22. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

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23. Thank you for reading this.

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Drink and Drive


I went to a party Mom,

I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.


I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?


Upgraded To Wife1.0 From Girlfriend5.0


Dear Tech Support Team:


Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User"




REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support) .

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 .

Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support


Check your Name With The Meaning


Instructions: What you do is find out what each letter of your name means.

Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU. (It’s TRUE)
If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once.

For Example: METONYRH

M: Success comes easily to you.
E:
You are a very exciting person.

T: You have an attitude, a big one.
O: You are very open-minded.
N: You like to work, but you always want a break.
Y: You cause a lot of trouble.
R: You are a social butterfly.
H: You are not judgmental.



A: You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B: You are always cautious when it comes to meeting newpeople.
C: You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.
D: You have trouble trusting people.
E: You are a very exciting person.
F: Everyone loves you.
G: You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H: You are not judgmental.
I: You are always smiling and making others smile.
J: Jealously
K: You like to try new things.
L: Love is something you deeply believe in.
M: Success comes easily to you.
N: You like to work, but you always want a break.
O: You are very open-minded.
P: You are very friendly and understanding.
Q: You are a hypocrite.
R: You are a social butterfly.
S: You are very broad-minded.
T: You have an attitude, a big one.
U: You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V: You have a very good physique and looks.
W: You like your privacy.
X: You never let people tell you what to do.
Y: You cause a lot of trouble.
Z: You’re always fighting with someone.


Newton's Romantic Laws!


Universal law:

"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer
from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "


First law:
"A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy. "


Second law:
"The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the
bank balance. "


Third law:
"The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and
opposite to the force applied by the girl while slap."



What Girls Looking In A Man???

Original List (Age 22):
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What I Want in a Man, (Age 32):
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens as much as talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want in a Man, (Age 42):
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, (Age 52):
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, (Age 62):
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, (Age 72):
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet



Why Student Fails In The Exams???


How can a student pass the exams?

Why student fails in exams...?
It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because
the year ONLY
has 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and
difficult to study.
Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15
days.
Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing
properly & swallowing)-means 30days.
Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means
15 days
Days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays) -40
days.
Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness - at least 3 days.
Remaining days=3.

10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days.
1 day left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????
Balance = 0

"How Can A Student Pass ?????"


Make Firfox 300% More Faster


Step1: Open Firefox and type about:config in the address bar where you normally type a web address.


Step2: Then click the button: "I'll be careful, I promise".

Step3: In the filter bar below the address bar type network.http.

Step4: Double-click on "network.http.pipelining" to change the setting from false to true.

Step5: Double-click on "network.http.proxy.pipelining" to change the value from false to true.

Step6: Double-click on "network.http.pipelining.maxrequests" and change the number to "30". This means it will make 30 requests at once.
(Normally the browser will make one request to a web page at a time. When you enable pipelining it will make several at once, which really speeds up page loading.)

Step7: Several lines above network.http.proxy.pipelining you’ll see
"network.http.max-persistant-connections-per-proxy" and
"network.http.max-persistant-connections-per-server".
Double-click each line and change the value to "8".

Step8: Two lines up locate and double-click on "network.http.max-connections" and set the value to "48".

Step9: Now right-click (control-click on a Mac) anywhere in the configuration (the area where you’ve been making the changes). Select "New" then "Integer".

Step10: When prompted, copy and paste or type the following into the field provided: nglayout.initialpaint.delay.

Step11: When prompted to add a value, enter the number "0". This value is the amount of time the browser waits before it acts on information it recieves.

Step12: Close all windows and tabs. The changes will take effect when you restart Firefox.


These changes allow Firefox to make multiple server connections and will speed up page downloads for better, more efficient use of your broadband connection. If you're using a broadband connection you'll load pages MUCH faster now!


Trick To Show Your Name After Time In Taskbar...


Just Do Like This;


Start -> Control Pannel -> Regional and LAnguage option -> Customize (beside English US) -> Go to TIME tab -> Change AM symbol and PM symbol from AM and PM to ur name -> Apply -> Ok ...


Is it changed, Might be not...
If it is not....

Go to time in taskbar and Double Click it to open "Date and time property"... Look place where time changes in digital form i.e. 02:47:52 AM, Click Arrow to change the AM or PM by selecting and press arrow. It will Show ur name or name that was entered by u, Apply -> OK

Done!


Make Your Desktop Animated


Just Follow These Steps:


1. Right Click On Your Desktop & Click Properties
2. Click Desktop [Tab] -> Click Customize Desktop
3. Click Web [Tab]
4. Click New


Now here u have a dialogue box with a bar of Location: in which u have to paste a gif file web url

Note: u can find it from many websites like

Code:
www.webdeveloper.com
Code:
www.coolspacetricks.com
etc,.....

Go any web site that contains gif animations, open a gif file from there and right click it then click on properties it will show u the url link of the gif file, just copy that link and paste in the location bar. Now click ok. A message will apear

[Add Item to Active Desktop] just click ok it will synchronize the item [u dont have to do anything here] after synchronization Click Ok and Ok again and u are done.




Saturday, July 4, 2009

Shoe Lacing Styles


1. The lace is run straight across the bottom and emerges through both bottom eyelets
2. The laces then go straight up and are fed into the next set of eyelets up the shoe
3. The ends are crossed over and are fed under the vertical lace section on the opposite sides of the shoe before going straight up and into the next set of eyelets up the shoe
4. At the top set of eyelets, the laces can once again cross over and pass under the straight section as shown. This not only looks consistent with the rest of the lacing but also forms a High Lace Lock, which tightens the lacing even more firmly




1. The lace is run straight across the bottom and emerges through both bottom eyelets
2. The ends are looped back under the lace where it feeds under the side of the shoe
3. The ends are then crossed over each other, then they go under and out through the next set of eyelets up the shoe
4. Steps 2 and 3 are repeated until both ends reach the top eyelets.






1. The lace runs straight across the second set of eyelets from the top of the shoe
2. Cross the ends over and feed into the fourth set of eyelets, skipping the third set
3. Continue down the shoe, two sets of eyelets at a time
4. At the bottom, run the laces vertically between the bottom and second from bottom eyelets
5. Double back and work your way back up the shoe through the vacant sets of eyelets.





1. The lace is run straight across the bottom and emerges through both bottom eyelets
2. The left (red) end is spiralled up the left side of the shoe, with the end fed under and emerging from each eyelet
3. The right (orange) lace is spiralled up the right side of the shoe, at each eyelet looping through the left (blue) lace in the middle of the shoe before feeding under and emerging from the next eyelet.





1. The lace is run straight across the bottom and emerges through both bottom eyelets
2. One end of the lace (orange end) runs straight up the right side, is fed into and runs straight across the second set of eyelets
3. Both ends now run straight up the left side, each skipping one eyelet before feeding in two eyelets higher up
4. Continue running both ends across the shoe, then straight up two eyelets at a time
5. At the top of the shoe, the laces end up on the same side and the shoelace knot is tied at that point.






1. The lace runs straight across the bottom and the ends are fed into both bottom eyelets
2. One end of the lace (orange end) runs straight up the right side, emerges from and runs straight across the second set of eyelets
3. The other end (red end) runs diagonally underneath and, skipping the 2nd set of eyelets, emerges from and runs straight across the 3rd set of eyelets
4. Continue running each lace diagonally across and up 2 sets of eyelets until one end (orange in my example) reaches the top right eyelet
5. The other end (red in my example) then runs straight up the left side to emerge from the top left eyelet.






1. The lace runs straight across and emerges from the third set of eyelets from the bottom
2. Both ends run straight down and are fed into the second set of eyelets from the bottom
3. Both ends again run straight down and emerge from the bottom set of eyelets
4. Both ends now run straight up along the outside and are fed into the fourth set of eyelets (the first vacant pair)
5. The ends are crossed over each other, then they go under and out through the next set of eyelets up the shoe
6. Repeat step (5) until both ends reach the top.





1. The lace is run straight across the bottom and is fed into rather than emerging from both bottom eyelets
2. The ends are crossed over, then inserted into the next set of eyelets up the shoe
3. This process is repeated until both ends reach the top eyelets and end up inside.





1. The lace runs straight across the bottom and emerges through both bottom eyelets
2. Skipping two sets of eyelets, cross the ends over and feed into the fourth set of eyelets
3. Both ends now run straight down one eyelet and emerge from the third set of eyelets
4. Continue up the shoe, each time crossing over and going up three sets of eyelets, then straight down to emerge from the next set of eyelets below.




1. The lace is run straight across the bottom and emerges through both bottom eyelets
2. The ends are twisted together with one complete twist in the middle of the shoe
3. The ends then continue across to the opposite sides, where they go under and out through the next set of eyelets up the shoe
4. This process is repeated until both ends reach the top eyelets.




1. The lace runs straight across the bottom and emerges from both bottom eyelets
2. Cross the ends over and feed into the 4th set of eyelets up the shoe (skip past 2 sets of eyelets)
3. Both ends now run straight up and emerge from the 5th set of eyelets
4. Cross the ends over and feed into the 2nd set of eyelets up the shoe (skip past 2 sets of eyelets)
5. Both ends now run straight up and emerge from the 3rd set of eyelets 6. Cross the ends over, feed under and emerge from the top set of eyelets (skip past 2 sets of eyelets).





1. The lace is run diagonally and emerges from the bottom left and the top right eyelets
2. The top (red) end of the lace is zig-zagged from the top set of eyelets down to the middle eyelets in a similar manner to the Shoe Shop Lacing
3. The bottom (orange) end of the lace is similarly zig-zagged from the bottom set of eyelets up to the middle eyelets.





1. Start with two pairs of different colour laces, preferably the wide, flat variety (I was lucky to receive two such pairs with my last runners!)
2. With one colour (orange in my example), lace the shoe using either Straight (Fashion) or Straight (Lazy) Lacing
3. With the other colour (red in my example), start at the bottom of the shoe and weave the lace in and out of the other lace until you reach the top
4. Fold around the top lace and head back down, weaving out and in until you reach the bottom 5. Continue across the shoe until you're out of room or out of lace, whichever comes first
6. Tuck all the loose ends of the laces into the shoe.



1. The lace runs straight across the bottom and emerges from both bottom eyelets
2. Cross the ends over and feed into the 4th set of eyelets up the shoe (skip past 2 sets of eyelets)
3. Both ends now run straight up and emerge from the 5th set of eyelets
4. Cross the ends over and feed into the 2nd set of eyelets up the shoe (skip past 2 sets of eyelets)
5. Both ends now run straight up and emerge from the 3rd set of eyelets
6. Cross the ends over, feed under and emerge from the top set of eyelets (skip past 2 sets of eyelets).


Windows Next Version


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HR Logic!!!


After 2 Years Of Selfless Service, A Man Realized That He Has Not Been Promoted, No Transfer, No Salary Increase No Commendation And That The Company Is Not Doing Any Thing About It. So He Decided To Walk Up To His HR Manager One Morning And After Exchanging Greetings, He Told His HR Manager His Observation. The Boss Looked At Him, Laughed And Asked Him To Sit Down Saying;

My Friend, You Have Not Worked Here For Even One Day. The Man Was Surprised To Hear This, But The Manager Went On To Explain.


Manager: How Many Days Are There In A Year?
Man: 365 Days And Some Times 366.

Manager: How Many Hours Make Up A Day?
Man: 24 Hours.

Manager: How Long Do You Work In A Day?
Man: 8AM To 4PM. 8 Hours A Day.

Manager: So, What Fraction Of The Day Do You Work In Hours?
Man: He Did some Arithmetic And Said 8/24 Hours. 1/3 (One-Third)

Manager: That Is Nice Of You! What Is One-Third Of 366 Days?
Man: 122 (1/3x366 = 122 In Days)

Manager: Do You Come To Work On Weekends?
Man: No Sir

Manager: How Many Days Are There In A Year That Are Weekends?
Man: 52 Saturdays + 52 Sundays = 104 Days

Manager: Thanks For That. If You Remove 104 Days From 122 Days, How
Many Days Do You Now Have?
Man: 18 Days.

Manager: OK! I Do Give You 2 Weeks Sick Leave Every Year. Now Remove That 14 Days From The 18 Days Left. How Many Days Do You Have Remaining?
Man: 4 Days

Manager: Do You Work On New Year Day?
Man: No Sir!

Manager: Do You Come To Work On Workers Day?
Man: No Sir!

Manager: So How Many Days Are Left?
Man: 2 Days Sir!

Manager: Do You Come To Work On The National holiday?
Man: No Sir!

Manager: So How Many Days Are Left?
Man: 1 Day Sir!

Manager: Do You Work On Christmas Day?
Man: No Sir!

Manager: So How Many Days Are Left?
Man: None Sir!

Manager: So, What Are You Claiming?
Man: I Have Understood, Sir. I Did Not Realize That I Was Stealing Company Money All These Days.


Moral - NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP!!!
HR -> HIGH RISK



Flags Of The World

Are you smarter than a 4 year old? LET'S SEE!!!


A PRE-SCHOOL TEST FOR YOU
Which way is the bus below traveling?



To the left or to the right?
Can't make up your mind?

Look carefully at the picture again.
Still don't know?

Pre-schoolers were shown this picture asked the same question.

90% of the pre-schooler's gave this answer. 'The bus is traveling to the right .' When asked, 'Why do you think the bus is traveling to the right ?' They answered:
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'Because you can't see the door to get on the bus.'

How do you feel now ???




7 Secrets of Success!


I Found The Answers In My Room...


1. ROOF Said: Aim High!

2. FAN Said: Be Cool!
3. CLOCK Said: Every Minute Is Precious!
4. MIRROR Said: Reflect Before You Act!
5. WINDOW Said: See The World!
6. CALENDAR Said: Be Up To Date!
7. DOOR Said: Push Hard To Achieve Your Goal!



Miss Universe Collection 1952 - 2005











I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...

Dear Friend.......

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
You have to think before You speak to me...!

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
My presence ever makes You feel uncomfortable...!

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
You have to thank me for everything I do for You...!

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
You have to say sorry for everything that You don't do...!

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
You have to ask me for favors...!

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
You think I would not be curious to know Your new philosophy of life...!

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
You go by what i say and do not understand what I don't say...!

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
You think that listening to Your dreams would put me to sleep...!

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
You think that seeing You in pain, would not bring a tear to me...!

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
You think I do not remember the first time we met...!

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
You don't see the thousand ways I try to make You happy...!

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
You don't realize how Your smile brightens up my day...!

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
You would rather keep quiet when You really wanna talk...!

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
You hesitate to ask me to stay back when You think we should be together...!

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND IF...
You take too much time to tell me what I mean to You..............!