Home 23 facts about Guys every Girls should know

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

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2. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

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3. Crying is blackmail.

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4. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

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5. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

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6. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

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7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

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8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

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9. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

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10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

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11. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

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12. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

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13. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

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14. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

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15. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.

Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

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16. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

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17. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

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18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .

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19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

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20. You have enough clothes.

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21. You have too many shoes.

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22. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

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23. Thank you for reading this.

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Drink and Drive

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.


I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

Upgraded To Wife1.0 From Girlfriend5.0

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User"




REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support) .

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 .

Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

Check your Name With The Meaning

Instructions: What you do is find out what each letter of your name means.

Then connect all the meanings and it describes YOU. (It’s TRUE)
If you have double or triple letters, just count the meaning once.

For Example: METONYRH

M: Success comes easily to you.
E: You are a very exciting person.
T: You have an attitude, a big one.
O: You are very open-minded.
N: You like to work, but you always want a break.
Y: You cause a lot of trouble.
R: You are a social butterfly.
H: You are not judgmental.



A: You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
B: You are always cautious when it comes to meeting newpeople.
C: You definitely have a partier side in you, don't be shy to show it.
D: You have trouble trusting people.
E: You are a very exciting person.
F: Everyone loves you.
G: You have excellent ways of viewing people.
H: You are not judgmental.
I: You are always smiling and making others smile.

J: Jealously
K: You like to try new things.
L: Love is something you deeply believe in.
M: Success comes easily to you.
N: You like to work, but you always want a break.

O: You are very open-minded.
P: You are very friendly and understanding.
Q: You are a hypocrite.
R: You are a social butterfly.
S: You are very broad-minded.
T: You have an attitude, a big one.
U: You feel like you have to equal up to people's standards.
V: You have a very good physique and looks.
W: You like your privacy.
X: You never let people tell you what to do.
Y: You cause a lot of trouble.
Z: You’re always fighting with someone.

Newton's Romantic Laws!

Universal law:
"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer
from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money "


First law:
"A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl
in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless
any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and
break the legs of the boy. "


Second law:
"The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is
directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and
the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the
bank balance. "


Third law:
"The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and
opposite to the force applied by the girl while slap."

What Girls Looking In A Man???

Original List (Age 22):
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What I Want in a Man, (Age 32):
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens as much as talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want in a Man, (Age 42):
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, (Age 52):
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, (Age 62):
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, (Age 72):
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet

Why Student Fails In The Exams???

How can a student pass the exams?
Why student fails in exams...?
It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because
the year ONLY
has 365' days.

Typical academic year for a student

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest.
Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and
difficult to study.
Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15
days.
Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies (chewing
properly & swallowing)-means 30days.
Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal)-means
15 days
Days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days.
Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays) -40
days.
Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness - at least 3 days.
Remaining days=3.

10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days.
1 day left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????
Balance = 0

"How Can A Student Pass ?????"

Make Firfox 300% More Faster

Step1: Open Firefox and type about:config in the address bar where you normally type a web address.

Step2: Then click the button: "I'll be careful, I promise".

Step3: In the filter bar below the address bar type network.http.

Step4: Double-click on "network.http.pipelining" to change the setting from false to true.

Step5: Double-click on "network.http.proxy.pipelining" to change the value from false to true.

Step6: Double-click on "network.http.pipelining.maxrequests" and change the number to "30". This means it will make 30 requests at once.
(Normally the browser will make one request to a web page at a time. When you enable pipelining it will make several at once, which really speeds up page loading.)

Step7: Several lines above network.http.proxy.pipelining you’ll see
"network.http.max-persistant-connections-per-proxy" and
"network.http.max-persistant-connections-per-server".
Double-click each line and change the value to "8".

Step8: Two lines up locate and double-click on "network.http.max-connections" and set the value to "48".

Step9: Now right-click (control-click on a Mac) anywhere in the configuration (the area where you’ve been making the changes). Select "New" then "Integer".

Step10: When prompted, copy and paste or type the following into the field provided: nglayout.initialpaint.delay.

Step11: When prompted to add a value, enter the number "0". This value is the amount of time the browser waits before it acts on information it recieves.

Step12: Close all windows and tabs. The changes will take effect when you restart Firefox.


These changes allow Firefox to make multiple server connections and will speed up page downloads for better, more efficient use of your broadband connection. If you're using a broadband connection you'll load pages MUCH faster now!

Trick To Show Your Name After Time In Taskbar...

Just Do Like This;

Start -> Control Pannel -> Regional and LAnguage option -> Customize (beside English US) -> Go to TIME tab -> Change AM symbol and PM symbol from AM and PM to ur name -> Apply -> Ok ...


Is it changed, Might be not...
If it is not....

Go to time in taskbar and Double Click it to open "Date and time property"... Look place where time changes in digital form i.e. 02:47:52 AM, Click Arrow to change the AM or PM by selecting and press arrow. It will Show ur name or name that was entered by u, Apply -> OK

Done!